Neil Tennant

Self

Chris Lowe

Self

Barbara Windsor

Seaside Landlady/Neil's mother

Joss Ackland

Priest/Murderer

Neil Dickson

Pilot/Car Salesman/Coachman

Gareth Hunt

Uncle Dredge/Postcard Seller/Ventriloquist

Dominique Barnes

Girl at the Beach/Girl Hitchhiker/Girl on the Bicycle

Carmen du Sautoy

Cafe Waitress